


“Who said I ever got over you?”

by saucilyregal



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: 2nd attempt at posting this, Deviates From Canon, Eventual Swan Queen, F/F, Language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-23
Packaged: 2018-07-24 02:05:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7489107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saucilyregal/pseuds/saucilyregal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An argument with Hook leads Emma on a path of reflection.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Damn it was cold! “Why did it have to get this cold?” Emma thought as she walked along the pier.  She knew it was past time for her to head home, but she was still pissed.

What did Hook want from her? A promise? A commitment? Well, either way, he wanted more than she was ever willing to give him.  She couldn’t help but smile bitterly as she replayed her argument with him earlier.

~~~~~~~~~~

_“Damn it Swan! I want you to want me! Why can’t you see that? I’ve given up everything for you!  My ship, my way of life, my freedom - for you and that bloody son of yours!” Hook screamed at Emma from across the loft, not caring that Henry was up stairs._

_“I never asked you to! It’s not my fault that you read into whatever this is! And why the fuck are you bringing Henry into this? He isn’t some pawn for you to play to try and get to me!” Emma roared, pissed that Hook would even think to bring her son into their fight. It was a low blow that Hook knew would rile her up, especially after the struggle she had had with Regina over being a mother to him._

_“He might not be a pawn, but he sure is the only one that you bloody well love, outside of that woman you are always pining after!” Hook felt justified in a second low blow, knowing that it would either bring Emma to knees or rile her up further._

_“If you’re so jealous of an imaginary relationship, then go! I don’t have to put up with this from you!”  Emma fired at the pirate, feeling ready to set the man on fire._

_At that Hook stormed towards the door. With smoke practically steaming out of his ears, he slammed it it on his way out._

_Hesitantly, Henry walked down the stairs and over to his mother._

_“You know you deserve so much more than him, right?” Henry asked as he gave Emma a hug._ __  
  
_Hugging him back, Emma  “I know kid. I know.”_

~~~~~~~~~~

The only positive part of that argument was that it gave Emma a chance to seriously examine her feelings.  Hook’s comment about “that woman you are always pining after” isn’t far off target.  It doesn’t matter how long it’s been, Regina still had her heart. Emma knew that she would never fully get over Regina. How could she?  They had planned on getting married before all of the crap with Neverland and Neal began.  Why did she have to mess up something so great? So perfect?

Shaking her head, Emma couldn’t help berate herself for always messing up the good things in her life.  She ruined things with Hook, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. She messed up things with her parents, taking them years to tentatively repair that damage. She messed things up with Henry when she became the Dark One, and she feels like it will take her years to repair that damage.

She knew that despite all of her failings, she would repair the damage to her relationship with her parents and Henry. It may be a long time coming, but she was determined to have at least a few good things in her life.

While repairing her relationships with her parents and son would be difficult, the one relationship that she feared she would never be able to repair was with Regina.  She knew deep down that it is the one that she most desperately wanted to.

Knowing that her family is a  big deal in her life, she still felt that something was missing.  It felt like someone was missing.

Regina.

Man, did she know she had messed up. Lost one of the best things in her life. Henry was the only reason they still talked, if you called their tense discussions over his wellbeing talking.

Finally walking to the end of the pier, she sat on the bench that at one point in time was her favorite place.  It was the one spot they could be alone, away from prying eyes. To just talk, to be.

As she became lost in her thoughts she stared into the water, watching the reflection of the moon dance over the depths of the bay.

Click, click, click.

“So tell me, how long did it take you to get over me?”

 

“Who said I ever got over you?”


	2. How could I ever be good enough for you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some memories must be remembered in order for Emma and Regina to even consider moving forward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen to “I’m Ready” from the Piano Dreamers Play Niykee Heaton as you read this.

Click, click, click.

“So tell me, how long did it take you to get over me?” Regina's low, quiet voice broke into Emma's whirling thoughts.

Knowing she couldn't lie, Emma quietly asked the one question that had been haunting her all night.

“Who said I ever got over you?”

Shaking her head slightly, Emma couldn't help but chuckle quietly to herself. Not caring if Regina mistook her laughter as anything but self deprecation. She had just admitted to herself that she had royally screwed up her life, Regina’s life, and Henry’s.

She knew that despite everything she has done, everything she had tried to do, she had never gotten over Regina. It wasn't that she hadn't tried, heaven knew she had tried. Ultimately, Emma knew how badly she had messed up.

Lowering herself to the bench with a quiet sigh, Regina seated herself next to Emma, sitting closely enough to gently bump her shoulder.  Doing exactly that, Regain couldn’t help but ask the one question that had haunted her for the last year.

“Why did you run? Was it something I said? Did? Why?” sheer agony dripping off her voice, cracking over the last ‘why.’

~~~~~~~~~~

_“Emma! Just talk to me, why are you doing this?” Regina pleaded, as Emma struggled against her inner demons._

_“I can’t!” Emma gasped as she ran towards the door.  Always running, always fleeing, always messing up the good in her life._

_Emma knew she had a good thing with Regina, hell, it was the best thing that had ever happened to her.  She just couldn’t shake the feeling that Regina was settling for her, that she would never be good enough for her.  She had been kicked out of so many homes growing up that she couldn’t believe that anyone would ever truly want her.  The lanky girl with straw like hair, the one who never looked kept, the girl who always threw the first punch.  The girl who was always running, fleeing, and never looking back._  

_Running, it was the only thing she knew._

_“I’m not good enough for you!” Emma quietly said as she walked out of the only home that she ever wanted to stay in.  Knowing that by doing this, she had ruined her life and her engagement to the love of her life._

_Emma’s words, eaten by the wind that  had picked up, went unheard by Regina.  Crumpling on her porch as she felt her heart break, unable to run after Emma due to the rising agony in her chest._

~~~~~~~~~~

Taken aback by Regina’s question, all Emma could do was stare at the beautiful woman seated next to her.

“How could you ever think that?” Emma asked quietly, the pain laced in her voice was clearly heard.

“You ran, you refused to talk to me. What else was there for me to think?” Regina’s question hit the mark.  

Both women knew the importance of the words that had to follow, neither knew how it would be received, or if they would be able to fix what had all but been destroyed.

“I don’t know what I expected you to think.” Emma nervously rattled off.  “I don’t know.  I never wanted to hurt you, damn, that was never my intention.” The dark laugh that rolled out from Emma surprised Regina, who couldn’t help but look at the woman in confusion.

“I was so focused on what I was feeling, I couldn’t think about anyone else.  I have felt so lost for so long, always unwanted.  I’ve never had a home, I’ve never felt wanted or needed, until you.  I didn’t know how to handle that.  How could I ever be good enough for you? Why me? Why did you want me? Did you want me? Were you settling for me?” Emma couldn’t stop herself from finally rambling off her insecurities.  Her fear of rejection clear on her face and in her voice.

Listening to Emma, Regina’s heart finally started to beat again.  She started to feel an inkling of hope.  A hope for what, she didn’t want to think on just yet.  Leaning over, Regina gently grabbed Emma’s chin, forcing her to look into her eyes.

“You are good enough.  You will always be good enough for me.” Regina breathed out, closing the distance, placing a gentle kiss on the blond's lips.  

It wasn’t a full reconciliation, but it was a new beginning.  Both women knew that they could finally move forward, find the happiness that they desperately wanted and needed.

**Author's Note:**

> Sadly the characters are not mine, I wanted to borrow them for a smidge.  
> This is for magicmum, I hope it helps brighten your day.


End file.
